The Meat Puzzle
by warmfluffypastries
Summary: Once again following my previous stories on an alternate universe in which Tony and Kate were married in Season 2.


Once again this is another part of my series re-writing season 2 episodes, where Tony and Kate are married.

"Mmm, I love Philomena's ice cream," Tony sighed walking side by side with his wife down the quiet streets of Georgetown, each held a spoon and cup of ice cream as they made the stroll. Even with the cold weather there was nothing Kate enjoyed more than chocolate ice cream.

"Me too," she sighed, taking another bite of her own ice cream.

"You want to head back home, or continue freezing out here with our ice cream?" Tony questioned, taking a large spoonful, of what was left of his.

"You can't eat ice cream and drive at the same time," she reminded him gently, watching as he ate another large spoonful, "you're going to get a brain-freeze doing that."

"Then it'll fit in with the rest of my body. You know I love Philomena's as much as the next guy, but it's too cold," he finished the last bite, dropping his cup and spoon in the waste basket; "come on you can finish yours in the car."

"I'm impressed Tony," she smirked, watching as he winced and raised a hand to his forehead, "nevermind."

"Almost escaped without the brain-freeze," he sucked air in through his teeth for a few minutes before nodding, "okay I'm good now."

"Mmmm, so good," she mumbled cleaning off the last bit from her spoon before dropping it in another trash bin, "okay, let's go home," she giggled wrapping an arm around his waist and placing a hand on the back of his neck pulling him down to her lips.

"Your wish is my command," he murmured against her lips grabbing her hand and pulling her along after him toward the car.

"Oh hey," she murmured as she settled comfortably against his bare chest, "I was thinking tomorrow night we could go out to dinner and then maybe have an early night in."

"Oh yeah," he returned just as quietly, "that always sounds like a good idea to me."

"Yeah, plus it has been a month since our wedding, so it'll be like a mini anniversary," she smiled kissing his chest softly.

"Um hmm, I'll call and make a reservation in the morning, but in the mean time I think you're going to have to 'tame the beast' one last time," he smirked, wiggling eyebrows.

"Oh that was so cheesy," she laughed pulling him over on top of her.

**TKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTK**

"Possible ID on one of the Meat Puzzle bodies, A D.A. named Michael Grant," Gibbs announced rounding the corner early the next afternoon, breaking up a busy day of paperwork.

"Hey cool! After six months, we finally got a lead, huh?" Tony questioned, coming out from behind his desk.

"Find out if he's been reported missing; Kate, pull the cases that Ducky testified where Michael Grant was the lead attorney," Gibbs dished out his orders settling at his own desk.

"On it," Kate nodded.

"Psst! Hey, it looks like we're going to have to work late," Tony winked at her, "you want me to cancel our plans?"

"Not yet," she muttered back, "though I have a feeling by the end of the day you will be." She had really been looking forward to her night alone with her husband, not that they didn't have their alone time regularly, but it seemed like lately they'd been working all hours and they needed a little alone time.

Less than thirty minutes later, Tony was briefing the team on their supposed first victim, "Michael Grant disappeared eight months ago hiking the Appalachian Trail, his body was never found. Local LEOs could never determine if he got lost or killed."

"Definitely killed," Ducky announced joining the rest of the group, "The poor fellow was then dissected into small pieces, put in a barrel of alcohol along with two other bodies, and deposited in a dumpster behind Bethesda Naval Hospital."

"Dental records matched?" Gibbs questioned, already having figured that they had the right guy.

"I'm afraid so, Jethro," Ducky nodded.

"Ducky, do you remember a Judge Roland Davis?" Kate asked stepping out from behind her desk.

"Of course, a man of small stature and enormous ego, A highly competent jurist, nonetheless," Ducky commented remembering the man fondly, it seemed.

"He was the judge on one of the two cases you testified, where Michael Grant was the lead attorney," Kate nodded, signaling that Ducky had been correct in remembering the man.

"The significance of that, Caitlyn?" Ducky questioned.

"He was reported missing seven months ago," she filled in the missing link.

"I'll run a dental comparison -- the judge with the other two bodies," Ducky sighed.

"Pull up the case, Kate," Gibbs directed turning his attention back to the plasma, as Kate put the case up on the screen.

"Oh, yes, of course. Who could forget him? Vincent Hanlan. A medical school washout, he was studying to become a… medical examiner. He was accused of raping and murdering a Navy Lieutenant who worked at Bethesda Hospital's pathology lab," Ducky remembered the case, "I performed the autopsy. She was a beautiful girl. I believe her name was Lieutenant Sylvia…" he trailed off as if searching for the name of the victim.

"Sylvia Waksal," Kate supplied, carefully.

"Yes, that's right. She was working late one night. Vincent Hanlan stalked her with the intention of raping her. The speculation was that he was unable to perform the rape," Ducky continued, carefully remembering all details of the case. "His impotence so enraged him that he proceeded to beat the poor girl to death. When it went to trial…Michael Grant was the prosecuting attorney. Judge Davis presided. And I testified," He sighed, beginning to think he was the next one on this hit man's list, "The evidence was all circumstantial. So when the judge offered the jury second degree murder, they accepted it."

"Vincent Hanlan served eight years in the Maryland Correctional Adjustment Center," Kate volunteered, remembering the case file she'd just looked over.

"Kate, start building a profile on Vincent Hanlan. Tony--" Gibbs started, but Tony cut him off.

"Find the whereabouts of everybody else associated with prosecuting Vincent Hanlan and fast," Tony finished for him, already knowing his assigned duty.

"McGee, the last address for Vincent Hanlan, I want to bring him in. McGee!" He barked when he got no response from the probationary agent.

"Uh… sorry, boss. I already found him," he stuttered.

"Give me the address," Gibbs demanded when McGee didn't offer anything further.

"It's twenty two Victor Road, Mount Ephraim Cemetery. He's been dead over a year."

**TKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTK**

Kate and Tony entered autopsy to see Ducky and Gibbs confirming the second body, "Carl Foss," Tony volunteered when Gibbs wondered if they had a possible identity for the third body.

"The jury foreman," Kate added, when Gibbs looked at them questioningly.

"Of course!" Ducky exclaimed.

"Missing since last summer," Tony nodded, pretty much confirming their last ID.

"His x-rays are on the way over from his family dentist," Kate nodded.

Once Ducky had begun to lament about how this show was being put on for his sake. He continued to explain the rest of the story, "You were the medical examiner he was never going to be," Kate nodded when Ducky finished.

"I was using his failure against him," he nodded.

"You'll stay at NCIS as much as possible. Other than that, one of us will be with you at all times," Gibbs ordered.

"Jethro, my mother is ninety-six years old, she suffers from dementia, she gets very nervous when I'm not home in the evenings," he shook his head, he couldn't leave her at home alone.

"Tony, you'll take the first shift … with his mother," Gibbs pointed to the younger agent.

"Uh… doing what, boss?" he questioned nervously he didn't like the idea of dealing with Ducky's elderly mother.

"Whatever she wants," Gibbs grinned.

"Yes, it would be helpful if you could assist with the dogs," Ducky added.

"Oh, gosh. I'm not really an animal person, Ducky. I just haven't spent a lot of time with them lately and…" he began until Ducky interrupted him.

"The yappy creatures are all she has in this life… except for me, of course," he smiled at the three agents.

"If Vincent Hanlan is dead, who is getting revenge?" Gibbs questioned wanting his agents to think.

"His family?" Kate asked, coming up with the most logical answer.

"Find them, Kate," he nodded.

"You'll be okay, I bet she's really nice…I mean look at Ducky," Kate stood on the elevator next to her husband.

"Why do I have to baby sit, shouldn't that be Probe's job?" he whined, he really didn't want to do this.

"You'll be fine," she laughed, "now go, I have my own work to do."

**TKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTK**

"According to their tax returns, Vincent Hanlan's parents are both morticians. They've run a funeral home for the last thirteen years, and one brother who's a taxidermist," Kate supplied as Gibbs entered their office.

"Let's go," he grabbed his sig and headed for the elevator not waiting for Kate to follow.

Hanlan's mother had been pleased to hear individuals connected with her son's conviction were turning up dead. Gibbs radar was up, he didn't like the woman's attitude, she clearly had something to hide and he was going to find out what it was. Hanlan's father had been more cooperative, explaining how his son was a heavy drinker after he'd gotten out of prison, but every time he spoke he'd been silenced by his wife. They hadn't learned much about the night Hanlan died other than his brother had also been in the accident.

On the way to talk to the brother Kate received a phone call from Ducky saying that the third body had been confirmed as Carl Foss, the jury foreman.

**TKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTK**

Tony could hear the dogs barking on the other side of the door as he waited for Ducky's mother to answer, "Yes?"

"I'm Anthony DiNozzo, Mrs. Mallard. I work with your son, he called, said I'd be coming over," Tony tried to remind the older woman.

"You're Italian!" she gasped.

"Yes, I am," he nodded.

"You're a gigolo?" she questioned brightly.

"Ah… well, I wouldn't exactly call--" he stumbled over his sentence, not sure where the woman was going.

"You move furniture," she concluded for him, changing his line of thinking.

"I could," he nodded.

"I have a commode that has no business being here, it belongs in the lounge. I've told Donald this, he never listens," she pointed to the bulky piece of furniture.

"I understand. Okay. If you'll just show me where you want the--" he stepped through the threshold of the front door until the dog growled at him and then the older woman clutched at her cane again.

"Who are you?" she questioned harshly again.

"Anthony DiNozzo, everyone calls me Tony," he spoke loudly knowing the woman couldn't hear very well.

"That's an Italian name," she spoke harshly this time.

"Yes, it is. So if you'll just show me where…"

"Oh…you're a gigolo. If you look down my blouse, I shall disembowel you!" she warned, Tony was more than a little freaked out by this woman.

"That's funny."

"I have a knife in my brassiere," she spoke softly, harshly.

"I'll keep that in mind," Tony nodded.

"Good!" she miffed, "Who are you again?" she questioned yet again.

**TKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTK**

Hanlan's brother, Jonathan was more cooperative than his mother, but seemed more than a little disconnected with the rest of the world. He wandered around his shop carefully pointing out different pieces that he'd won awards for.

Jonathan Hanlan was apparently the forgotten brother; it seemed he was a little resentful for his brother's golden child status. Mrs. Hanlan apparently had a favorite child and had shunned the other one, blamed him for her son's death.

They were about to leave when McGee called to let them know that he'd found the lead detective on Vincent Hanlan's case and he'd been missing for the past three weeks. Another body was bound to pop up sometime soon…

**TKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTK**

"Where do you need this? Oh, God. Mrs. Mallard? Mrs. Mallard!?" Tony stumbled trying to lift the heavy commode Ducky's mother wanted moved.

"Who are you!? And where are you going with my commode!" she shrieked, once again forgetting the man in her home.

"I'm your son's co-worker, remember? Tony DiNozzo, the Italian gigolo, furniture mover," he reminded her again, ignoring the knife she held in her hand. The doorbell startled the dogs. Tony dropped the commode reaching for his gun, "No!" he barked when she moved to open the door.

Her sharp inhale along with the knife hitting the floor, caused him to roll his eyes, "I'm a Federal Agent, Ma'am," he sighed.

"That's what they all say," she retorted.

"Will you please go stand over there?" he asked pointedly, "Now! And keep the girls and boys in the other room," he shook his head, only he would get this assignment from Gibbs.

He could hear Mrs. Mallard ordering the dogs to quiet down, "What is it?" he asked peeking through the blinds on the door.

"Delivery!" the man called back bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"What kind of delivery?" Tony questioned.

"I don't know, Sir. It just says perishable," he read from his clipboard, and Tony sighed opening the door to the man, "Hi."

"Step back, please! Step back!" he ordered, trying to see past the man.

"Okay!" the delivery man sighed, finally moving away from delivery.

"Thank you," he sighed, until his eyes landed on the barrel similar to the one that contained three bodies already. Pulling out his phone, he dialed Gibbs.

**TKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTK**

Once Gibbs and the team arrived, Ducky expressed his worry about being the fifth and final victim of whoever was exacting revenge for Vincent Hanlan. Gibbs put Kate on protection detail for Ducky ordering her not to let him out of her site.

Gibbs and McGee left to check out the sender of the barrel, while Kate rode back to NCIS with Ducky and Palmer in the truck.

"The sweet smell of freedom!" Tony exited the house to see Ducky's truck pulling away and Gibbs walking toward the sedan to join McGee.

"Mrs. Mallard?" Gibbs turned back to eye his senior agent.

"Sleeping, her usual afternoon fistful of Wild Turkey. Her last words to me were either "I'm going to slit your throat" or "kiss your moat." I couldn't tell because she was slurring," he sighed, glad to finally have the fresh air surrounding him.

"That's good work, Tony," Gibbs smiled, softly.

"Thank you, boss. So who's taking over for me now?" he questioned excitedly, ready to get away from the crazy old lady.

"Kate's on protection detail with Ducky," he sighed, "McGee's going with me to interview the guy who delivered the barrel," Tony nodded, "I guess that leaves you."

"Me? Boss, I just spent all day playing furniture mover for this slightly demented old lady and her pack of yapping hounds," he nearly shrieked.

"They're not hounds, DiNozzo. They're Corgis!"

"No, Boss!" he yelled after Gibbs, watching him walk further to the sedan, "No, Boss! I'm on the verge, man! McGee?" he questioned again, "Boss, I'm going to go postal! I'm not kidding! I'm this close!"

Finally giving up as the car pulled away from the house, he sighed turning to the front door where the Corgis were beginning to make their escape, "Here's Tony!"

**TKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTK**

Before Ducky and Kate had left for the Mallard home, Ducky had confirmed the charred bones in Vincent Hanlan's grave belonged to Vincent Hanlan.

"Mother, I'm home!" Ducky called allowing Kate to precede him in the front door.

"Your dogs," Kate sighed, hearing the barking.

"Not just dogs, Kate. Welsh Corgis, in Wales the Corgi was the protector of the farmer. Now they protect my mother, that's Tyson," he nodded to the one who could still be heard barking.

"Because he thinks he's a boxer?" she questioned at the renewed barking.

"No, because he bites," he smiled gently, "The bedrooms are upstairs, of course, mine's there," he pointed the visibly open door at the top of the stairs, "You could use the guest room."

"I won't be sleeping, Ducky," she reminded, following him through the house.

"Of course," of course he nodded solemnly.

"Where's your mother's room?" she asked continuing to look around.

"Oh, she sleeps down here now," he pointed to the family room.

"It must be difficult for her to get up the stairs at her age," Kate nodded, glancing at the stairs again, looking around for her husband once again.

"It has nothing to do with stairs, Caitlyn. Her snoring is deafening, she kept me awake all night. She'll keep you awake, too," he nodded before finally leading her into the dining room where they found Tony and Mrs. Mallard grooming one of the Mallard Corgis, "hello."

"There you are, Contessa," the elderly woman smiled at the Corgi on the table as Tony continued to blow dry and brush the dog, "You're beautiful."

"Oh Tony, you finally found your true calling," Kate laughed at her husbands predicament.

"Mother, may I present Caitlyn. She works with Tony and me," he introduced the two, only for the elder woman to spit at her, "Mother! We talked about this! Caitlyn is here to protect us."

"Show me your knickers," Mrs. Mallard demanded.

"Um… Ma'am?" Kate asked clearly confused, eyeing Ducky and then her husband when he grinned and winked.

"Your underwear, missy. One can always tell a woman's intention from her panties," Mrs. Mallard explained.

"That's always been my philosophy," Tony nodded with a stern look, which his wife returned before both broke into smiles.

"I do apologize," he spoke softly to Kate, before speaking loudly for his mother's benefit, "Come along, Mother! Time to get dinner ready," he lead her out of the dining room.

"Haven't I had dinner?" the older woman asked confused.

"No you haven't," they continued out of the room arguing about dinner.

"Sometimes older people can make so much sense," Tony sighed watching after them.

"You're relieved, Tony," Kate came around the table to stand next to her husband, accepting the kiss he offered to her.

"Oh, god," he smiled releasing a long breath, "Okay, this is Contessa," he handed her the leach, "she likes it rough," he winked.

"Good night, Tony," she gave him another kiss, "Call me when you get back home?"

"Of course," he promised, "You sure you don't want me to stay with you for the night?" Tony asked.

"Go home, get some sleep, Gibbs will probably want you to take over again tomorrow," she sighed wrapping her arms around his neck, leaning back into the arms he'd wrapped around her waist.

"Ugh, you at least have Ducky as a buffer," he pouted, "She's very forgetful."

"Well yeah Tony, she's in her 90s, I'd think most people her age would be pretty forgetful," she smiled, and placed a kiss on the side of his throat, "You should go home get some sleep."

"She keeps a knife close by, don't go trying to get into Ducky's bed, she'll come after you," he smirked.

"Tony, would you like to join us for dinner?" Ducky asked, coming back into the dining room, beginning to clear off the supplies used for grooming the dogs.

"Yeah," he smirked releasing his wife and began to help with the clean up, "it's bad enough having to sleep alone."

"Tony," she sighed, elbowing his ribs, "does your mother need any help?"

"No, she prefers to do it all on her own," he sighed, "and she's not very fond of you, Caitlyn."

"I noticed," she smiled.

"Once I explained that you were married to Mr. DiNozzo here, she thought you were a very lovely couple, but I believe she has forgotten about that now," he grimaced.

**TKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTK**

"You really should get some sleep," she murmured into her cell phone, the faint snoring of Mrs. Mallard in the background.

"Hey, I'm keeping you awake," his grave voice carried over the line, signaling just how tired he really was.

"I've got a book and a cup of coffee," she smiled, "if anything, I'm the one keeping you awake."

"Yeah," he groaned, "but it's hard to sleep in this big bed all by myself."

"I'm sure you can handle it for one night," she smiled, "I love you, now get some sleep."

"Hey wait, I want to know what underwear you're wearing right now," she could hear the smirk in his voice.

"Tony," she sighed.

"What I think Mrs. Mallard is right, you can always tell a woman's intentions by her underw--"

"Tony, I have to go…I'll call you back," she hung up before he could answer, peeking out the back window to see Mrs. Mallard walking around the back to look for the barking dog.

"Mrs. Mallard?" she called out the back door, "Mrs. Mallard," she finally approached the older woman, gun drawn.

"Sneaking off after having your fun," she questioned, "Just as I knew you would."

"No, it's not like that, Mrs. Mallard," she sighed, glancing around the area once again, "Now please, I need you to take your dog and go back inside."

"That's not my dog," she pointed at the yapping mutt.

"Of course it's yours," she was becoming rather annoyed at this point, "Now, please, Mrs. Mallard!"

"I've never seen that dog before in my life," she huffed, "I only have Corgis."

"Get back inside now!" she finally ordered rushing back inside, finding Ducky's book and tumbler on the floor and the front door wide open, "Ducky! Ducky!" she screamed watching the white van driving away, and seeing the tires on her sedan slashed, before she pulled out her phone to call Gibbs.

**TKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTK**

"I shouldn't have been on the phone with you," she sighed pulling off her badge and weapon placing them on her night stand.

"Kate it wasn't your fault," he wrapped an arm around her bare waist, pulling her into his chest, "Ducky was asleep when you went to bring his mother back inside."

"But she was just out back, I didn't even think that it was a distraction," her voice muffled by the soft cotton of his t-shirt.

"Honey, I promise this is not your fault, now come on finish getting changed we've got to get back to the office," he placed a small kiss on the back of her head before releasing her from his arms.

"Gibbs, I'm sorry," she sighed from her desk, clearly upset about letting Ducky be taken.

"It's my fault," he finally sighed, "Two agents…"

"Excuse me?" Kate asked, surprised to hear Gibbs take blame.

"Two protectees, I should have had two agents. You were as responsible for the mother as you were for Ducky," he replied, she closed her eyes with a roll knowing he didn't believe it himself, he'd trusted her and she'd let him down.

"Boss! Abby says the tire tracks from the van were made from Uniroyal Laredos. They're standard on Chevy Express cargo vans," Tony announced exiting the elevator and heading for Gibbs's desk.

"Both the funeral home and the taxidermy business own Chevrolet Express Cargo vans," McGee read from his computer screen.

"That's good enough for a search authorization," Gibbs nodded, getting up and grabbing his gun.

"On it," Tony nodded.

"Tony, you and Kate take the turkey stuffing brother. McGee, come on, you're with me," Gibbs called already heading for the elevator.

"We're going to find him," Tony promised just before they reached the Hanlan taxidermy business.

After searching every nook, cranny, and animal, they came up empty, which is exactly what Tony told Gibbs when he called to check in, "Did you hear what I said, Boss?" Tony asked when Gibbs congratulated him on finding evidence and ordering him to bring Jonathan Hanlan into headquarters.

As Gibbs was interrogating Hanlan, Palmer and Abby came into observation where Kate and Tony stood watching demanding to speak to Gibbs. Palmer and Abby had discovered that although Vincent Hanlan's teeth were in the skull when they'd dug him from the ground, they did not belong to that particular skull.

"So the teeth were pulled from Vincent's mouth?" Kate asked, warily.

"One by one, and then they were glued back into this jaw," Jimmy nodded.

Once Jonathan Hanlan confessed everything he knew and how his mother was involved, they head back to the funeral home to wait for a light from inside to signal when the mother returned to funeral home, hopefully to prepare Ducky for his dissection. Once a light had been on for almost five full minutes Gibbs signaled for the team to head into the funeral home.

"Get back!" Gibbs ordered rushing into the back of the funeral home coming upon Ducky, Hanlan and his mother, "Move back or you're dead!" he ordered once again, "Tony," he nodded for his senior agent to help Ducky.

"My hands, release my hands!" Ducky ordered once the duct tape had been removed from his mouth, "Get me something to stop the bleeding!"

"Hands in the air!" Kate ordered when she noticed the mother beginning to relax her stance.

"I can't go back there," Vincent shook his head, nervously.

"Just do what they say, Vincent," his mother ordered softly.

"Turn around! Face the wall," Gibbs ordered gun still directed at the two.

"Just do it," Mary Hanlan insisted when her son began to shake his head.

"I love you, Mother, but I can't do this again!" he denied before pulling a scalpel across his own throat.

"No! No! My god, no! Oh my god no! No god, they killed my son!" Mrs. Hanlan screamed, sobbing moving to her son.

"Come on, let's go!" Kate ordered as she and Tony pulled the woman off of her son.

"You're the one that got off easy, my boy," Ducky sighed as Gibbs reached him helping him keep pressure on his wound, "What kept you?"

**TKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTKTK**

"The mother finally give a statement?" Tony asked when, Gibbs rounded the corner off the elevator early the next morning.

"Yeah, short one. Two words," Gibbs shook his head, "you three head out, take tomor—the rest of today off."

"I want to head over to the hospital to check on Ducky," she murmured when they settled into the car.

"Gibbs is checking him out and taking him home," he shook his head, "it's my job to get you home."

"Tony--"

"No," he shook his head again, "you need a good night's sleep, and I still owe you dinner."

"I don't think I could sleep," she sighed, "but I guess it wouldn't hurt to attempt it."

"Nope," he smiled to himself, "let's go Mrs. DiNozzo, there's a bed calling our name," he pulled her along up to their apartment in the light of the early morning.

"I love you, you know that?" she asked softly, settling against his chest.

"Yeah, I love you too, get some sleep."


End file.
